Funeral Guidelines 

“OPEN THE GATES OF PARADISE TO YOUR SERVANT…”

 
Those words come from one of the Final Commendations in the Rite of Christian Funerals. Preparing for and celebrating the final journey for a loved one can be both confusing and heart-wrenching for the family of one who has gone home to the Lord, and there is often little time to prepare as much as one might like. We want everything to be just right. Sometimes, we want to say everything we may never have had a chance to say in life to the one we love. We may want that favorite song or poem or the time to tell the stories of a wonderful life. And in that difficult mix of grieving and planning, it can be so easy to lose sight of what it is we Catholic Christians really are called to do as we gather in prayer for the Funeral Mass. That’s where the Church steps in to guide us. As we begin this month of saints and souls, it seems a good time to look at what is appropriate—or not—for the funeral of a loved one.
 
A number of years ago, the Archdiocese of Chicago, after many months of discussion and consultation, prepared guidelines to be followed by all parishes of the archdiocese in preparing a Funeral Mass. But just a few weeks ago, we were presented with updated guidelines—really regulations—that take effect immediately. The archdiocesan-wide norms aim to ensure that Funeral Masses in all parishes remain faithful to Catholic tradition and universal liturgical norms.
 
Probably the two most significant elements of the original instruction concern music and eulogies. Again, none of this is new for the universal Church, but it might seem new to some. Regarding music, the instruction reaffirms that only liturgical music may be used at the funeral mass, and goes on to say that “music or songs that are not liturgical or are otherwise inappropriate for the Funeral Mass can be included at various times outside the funeral rites, for example during the wake or after the committal service at the cemetery.” I’ve celebrated a number of funerals where families have made use of this option, playing a CD or having a favorite song sung at the wake or the cemetery.
 
The original archdiocesan instruction was also very clear on eulogies, but the new norms are even clearer. Technically, there is no such thing as a “eulogy” at a Catholic funeral, but rather “words of remembrance.” These words should focus on the faith life of the deceased, how they lived that faith, and how they shared it with others. The reason for this limitation is really very simple: “the liturgy speaks of the mystery of Christ’s death and resurrection, which gives the deepest meaning to the life of the deceased.” A Catholic funeral is not what some call a celebration of a person’s life in this world, but rather a celebration of their entry into eternal life. Anything that moves the Funeral Mass away from that central mystery is simply inappropriate. Here is the official text of those new norms that are to be followed when planning a loved one’s funeral:

• Eulogies and Personal Remembrances are more appropriate during the Evening Vigil at the funeral home or at the reception following the funeral. Experience shows that sharing personal remarks at the Funeral Mass can be inopportune for a number of reasons. It can create hard feelings if hurtful things of the past are raised or create discomfort in ill-advised attempts at humor. There are also concerns in view of past experiences that eulogies can overshadow in length and attention the Funeral Mass itself, especially if those offering words turn the Church’s rites into a celebration of life that focuses only on the accomplishments of the deceased’s past, with scant attention to our faith in the resurrection.  With that said, in a desire to be pastorally sensitive to the family of the deceased, the following norm regarding words of remembrance has been established after consultation with the Presbyteral Council and the approval of the Cardinal.
• The pastor of the parish may allow a reflection by one individual. This is to take place between the Post- Communion prayer and the end of Mass. The personal reflections should be limited to 3 minutes and are to be presented in writing to the pastoral minister assisting the family in advance of the service.             

• Regarding the final resting place of the deceased, full-body burial remains the preference of the Church, but cremation is always permitted. However, the cremated remains of the human body are to be placed in sacred ground and are never to be scattered, separated or kept by loved ones. Burying the remains of the faithful confirms one's faith in the resurrection of the body. The teachings of the Church call for us to care for the cremated remains of the human body with the same respect and dignity that we care for casketed remains of our loved ones.

 
These norms will shortly be incorporated into the materials we provide for families when the time comes to plan a Funeral Mass, but the expectation is that they be followed now. The fact is that, sooner or later, we all have to face the challenge of preparing that last farewell for someone we love. We want that farewell to be beautiful, uplifting and heartfelt. We should also want it to true to the faith and tradition of the Church into which we are all baptized, and in which we hope to spend all eternity giving praise and thanks to God in the great Communion of Saints.
 
Fr. Bob

Cremation in the Catholic Church